What a week....
This last week has been a life changing week for me. Simply put, a change of life has happened.
The last time I remember a change like this happening was 9 years ago, when I was sitting in my apartment in L.A., and decided to become vegan. And have not eaten an animal product since. That change has returned.
In a nutshell, this week, there have been health issues; legal issues; film projects; and a new direction with my future.
Something has been wrong with me healthwise these last couple of weeks. And I don't know what it is. The constant pain that's been deep in the middle of my stomach underneath the rib cage. With as much as I've been eating these last few months, I've been thinking it's been because of a weight change. But the more constant and deeper the pain, it's really got me worried that it could be my liver.
With the pain being right where my liver is, this has got me scared to death about my life. I don't want to die. Not yet. I have too much to get done before I leave. And I've seen too many people close to me die from their liver. I don't want to be one of those, and join that crowd. So, simply put, I need to change my life like I did 9 years ago.
5 days ago, I started on a raw food diet. Nothing but fruits and vegetables. And I'm feeling the difference. It feels like a combination of withdrawals and cleansing. I remember the last time I ate raw; 4 years ago in LA for a month, and was on a natural high like drugs, and shed pounds like crazy. I was thin as a rail after a month, and felt the best I've felt in my life. I want that feeling back. And I want to heal my body. All I've been eating is apples, garlic, carrots, celery, cabbage, olives and making a veganaise/mustard/herb mixture with red clover, flaxseed and paur'd arco as a dip for me to snack on celery with. Everything these last 5 days has been raw. And I'm starting to feel the difference.
Also, I've been drinking 3 cups of tea a day; dandelion root tea, peppermint tea, and a liver detox tea. All are good for the liver. And have also been drinking water contstantly. And pissing like crazy. Which is a good think. And also taking my shots of apple cider vinegar daily.
Along with this, 4 days ago, I started a 2 week Master Cleanse detox. For 2 weeks, I have to take these herb capsules daily for my liver, lungs, kidneys and immune system. And it's funny. When I take a capsule, within minutes I feel things going on in my body. It ranges anywhere from my stomach, to my chest, to my back, to my head....deep pains, and sometimes dizziness. Something's working inside my body. Between the raw diet, and the detox, my body is going through changes. For the better. I can tell.
In addition, another major change has happened; no liquor. I have had no liquor for 9 days now. No liquor; eating raw; doing the detox; my body is going through changes. And this is making me look at my life. Reflecting on the past; and thinking about the future.
I've been thinking this last week, hard, about my life. What I've done. Where I've been. What I've lived. And where I'm going.
I've been thinking a lot about the last 25 years of my life; my adulthood. In the last 25 years, I've lived some life; lived all over the country; been an actor, a writer, a director, a filmmaker, a teacher, worked many jobs, and more. And have had a full life. When I think about everything I've done, and everyplace I've been, I've lived at least 5 full lives in this adulthood. It's hard to remember everything. But when I reflect, and think about one thing, it amazes me, everything I can remember accomplishing at that one time. And that doesn't even include my childhood. Being the son of a stripper. Living a childhood on a burlesque circuit; and my military school life. And the high school years; and the Army years; so much has happened in this life.
These last 25 years, I've lived a life no one can dream of. And now, I've got to think about the next 25.
Some legal things have been going on this week too. I just heard from my lawyer in Kansas City, and have a court date at the end of the month for my legal name change. Hopefully, next month when I turn 44, my legal name will be what I've been going by for the last 10 years; Jack Truman. Then my birth certificate can be changed, and I won't have my deadbeat birth father, or as I like to call him, my semen donor's, name any longer. I'll have my own name, the one I've been going by this last decade, for the rest of my life.
Last week, I got new film made, and sent off to Sundance; my new short comedy film PAYDAY LOAN. I'm glad to have another film knocked out, to shock with people with. It felt good to have a new film to send off to be considered for Park City in 2010. Hopefully, the 4th time will be a charm. Every year, for 4 years, I've been sending a film to Sundance. Every year, one gets rejected. Slamdance about always shows my films. I'll be sending one to Slamdance next month. We'll see what this fall brings.
Plus, this last week has been different from the normal routine. Usually, I just work constantly on my film projects. But not this week. In fact, I haven't been working with them online at all these last 7 days. Usually, I spend at least 4 hours a day online working my social networks with my film projects. But not this week. This last week, online, all I have been doing is looking, searching and applying for college teaching jobs.
I am seriously considering returning to teaching at the college level. It's been 11 years since I've taught college classes. And have never thought much since about doing it again. But now, reflecting on my life, thinking about the things I've done, and my future, I think this is a good choice. I really think I should try to share with others, and teach others what I've learned from this life. With just these last 25 years, I've got a huge vault of life to dig into and share with the next generation of artists and speakers. And I can help them. I think this is a good thing to do.
The week before I started having these health problems around my liver, I was starting to really think deep about my future. And now, with my health, it's made me think more. And, you know, when it comes down to it, and I think about life, none of this really matters. The house. Money. A good job. Material things. None of it matters. You can't take it with you.
I need to live my life.
